"Tossed a little ways away, lying among the treeroots, was a human arm, a left arm, colors ranging from pale to nearly black, severed at the elbow."
I audibly gasped. (Well, I audibly gasped a couple times, but this time was the loudest.)
Also, I love how after the revelation of the forester's name—more specifically, after he spends the night staring and finally reaches his decision—he is never referred to as "Berent" by the narration again. Just "the forester." Shedding his past life (much like his tongue and his arm) to preserve the child's. Wonderful!
Excellent! Everything comes together so well. The Forester, his identity. Even the fact that he began to help the baby before he knew who it was -- we can't be sure he would have tried to save it anyway.
I kept counting up days and expecting the baby to die. Dehydration was more of an issue than nutrition, especially with the diarhea and vomiting, until he came up with something liquid that the baby was able to keep down. And I loved everyone recognizing that an infant can't survive on forest food for very long.
You really had me on the edge of not believing the baby would have survived that. But if I assume the baby was fat (because clearly born to wealth) and at least 3 months old (because doesn't need its head supported), it made more sense. Still awful close though.
So glad you liked it! And yes, dreadfully close. I decided early on the baby was five-months-old -- had to be between three and six to survive on cooked forage broth but still retain a certain reflex necessary for surviving the finale. Then I myself thought the morel would be a good idea... until I did some intense research (if I would have made that mistake, then a lone, childless forester in mid-spring definitely would have too). THEN in spite of that I decided to keep the morel at the cost of several hundred words, but it turned into this horrific and touching storybeat.
Not every baby would have survived this ordeal, but some would. As you said, awful close.
Excellent story, my friend. I love the contrast between the “good guys” who overthrew the man’s sadistic mortal enemy, but who have now done something despicable—and the war-bringing person who is in a gross physical state of excrement and will cause tons of suffering in the future… but is actually a completely innocent baby.
Thanks, Eric! As you know, I'm a fan of taking these heavy themes to their conclusions. It's a herald of conflict and strife... and also an innocent baby.
This was such a compelling read. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. And I love that it's not cut and dry either. Saving the child of one's enemy cost the lives of so many the forester once called friends and brothers in arms. Not to mention the babe's salvation may eventually bring about civil war. A really smart conflict. A thoroughly engrossing tale.
"Tossed a little ways away, lying among the treeroots, was a human arm, a left arm, colors ranging from pale to nearly black, severed at the elbow."
I audibly gasped. (Well, I audibly gasped a couple times, but this time was the loudest.)
Also, I love how after the revelation of the forester's name—more specifically, after he spends the night staring and finally reaches his decision—he is never referred to as "Berent" by the narration again. Just "the forester." Shedding his past life (much like his tongue and his arm) to preserve the child's. Wonderful!
I'm so glad you caught this, the usage of names was definitely intentional! Comments like this make me so happy, thank you!
Reading this as a new mom to a little boy was hard and I felt the stakes viscerally. Well done!
Thank you so much, Kelsey! I too have a little one around this age so that element was acute for me too.
Excellent! Everything comes together so well. The Forester, his identity. Even the fact that he began to help the baby before he knew who it was -- we can't be sure he would have tried to save it anyway.
I kept counting up days and expecting the baby to die. Dehydration was more of an issue than nutrition, especially with the diarhea and vomiting, until he came up with something liquid that the baby was able to keep down. And I loved everyone recognizing that an infant can't survive on forest food for very long.
You really had me on the edge of not believing the baby would have survived that. But if I assume the baby was fat (because clearly born to wealth) and at least 3 months old (because doesn't need its head supported), it made more sense. Still awful close though.
So glad you liked it! And yes, dreadfully close. I decided early on the baby was five-months-old -- had to be between three and six to survive on cooked forage broth but still retain a certain reflex necessary for surviving the finale. Then I myself thought the morel would be a good idea... until I did some intense research (if I would have made that mistake, then a lone, childless forester in mid-spring definitely would have too). THEN in spite of that I decided to keep the morel at the cost of several hundred words, but it turned into this horrific and touching storybeat.
Not every baby would have survived this ordeal, but some would. As you said, awful close.
Bravo!
Thank you, Parrish!
Excellent story, my friend. I love the contrast between the “good guys” who overthrew the man’s sadistic mortal enemy, but who have now done something despicable—and the war-bringing person who is in a gross physical state of excrement and will cause tons of suffering in the future… but is actually a completely innocent baby.
Thanks, Eric! As you know, I'm a fan of taking these heavy themes to their conclusions. It's a herald of conflict and strife... and also an innocent baby.
Your writing style feels so real . Damn detailed
Thank you so much, Barry!
This story is a knife to the gut — so strong
Wow, thank you so much, Keith!
This was such a compelling read. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. And I love that it's not cut and dry either. Saving the child of one's enemy cost the lives of so many the forester once called friends and brothers in arms. Not to mention the babe's salvation may eventually bring about civil war. A really smart conflict. A thoroughly engrossing tale.
What wonderful praise, thank you so much, Garen!
This story pulled me through from beginning to end. Great writing, and an engaging character.
Thank you so much, LK!
Ian. I don't know how you keep creating such amazing stories. Had a good cry with my morning coffee. The self-sacrifice. Thanks, once again.
Oh man, what a wonderful compliment! I'm so happy you liked it Lyndsey, and you're so very welcome!