Didn't like this when I read it a year ago (gasp) but my bestie (bonus, my writing bestie) loves horror so I am going to *try* luring her to Substack with this...
I realize how my comment could be interpreted! I did like the *story*, I didn't hit the like *button* a year ago when I read it. This has been remedied, as well as, I hope, as the potential miscommunication of my verbiage!
Oh yo. That was amazing. Out of what I've read, I this might be my favourite story of yours. The gradual unraveling of her mind and the twist are great.
The shift into present tense at the end works really well. Fluidity between past and present tense seem really natural in first person stream of counsciousness pieces like this, I feel like it's something you see alot of in some of the classic modernist authors.
I've been working on a novel called Shadow Work which kind of does a similar thing. That's first person with pretty much all the internal monologuing in present and all of the external narration in past.
High praise, thank you so much, Maximilian! I had this weird image in my mind while writing this one, that I wanted a story with no human utterances that could have occurred inside a neglected snow globe on a dusty shelf.
The present for current events and past tense for flashbacks is something I’ve experimented with, too. I think the book Bird Box uses that trick. It’s pretty fun!
Just coming to this story now as I saw it in the Lunar Awards Horror entries and I’m so impressed. The unexpected turn it takes is so terrifyingly good. And those deathly faces below the ice. Wow. 🖤
this is so gripping and terrifying! the atmosphere, the tension, the way you use language to create an ominous formality. I absolutely love this. thank you for sharing!
Powerful images here, I love it. That mental picture toward the end of the story - what’s making the scratching - that’s going to stay with me in both a good and bad way lol
Thanks so much, Troy! I wrote this one a few years ago, and it was my first time wrestling with a radically subjective viewpoint in my writing, fun but challenging. So happy to hear it turned out, and very grateful for gracious readers like you!
Terrifying, terrifying, mind-bending, psychological thriller action. Amazing, well done!
Thanks so much, Scoot! This story was a little outside my stomping ground, so I’m glad it worked out!
Didn't like this when I read it a year ago (gasp) but my bestie (bonus, my writing bestie) loves horror so I am going to *try* luring her to Substack with this...
Hahaha I hope it works!!
I realize how my comment could be interpreted! I did like the *story*, I didn't hit the like *button* a year ago when I read it. This has been remedied, as well as, I hope, as the potential miscommunication of my verbiage!
Oh, that makes sense hahaha! I was still cool if you didn’t like it though — few people like *all* my stuff. But I am glad you liked this one.
It says a lot because I don't like horror at all XD
Stunning! A tale as rich as the best of Poe! Bravo!
Thank you so much, Gregory! I’m honored to be compared to Poe!
Oh yo. That was amazing. Out of what I've read, I this might be my favourite story of yours. The gradual unraveling of her mind and the twist are great.
The shift into present tense at the end works really well. Fluidity between past and present tense seem really natural in first person stream of counsciousness pieces like this, I feel like it's something you see alot of in some of the classic modernist authors.
I've been working on a novel called Shadow Work which kind of does a similar thing. That's first person with pretty much all the internal monologuing in present and all of the external narration in past.
High praise, thank you so much, Maximilian! I had this weird image in my mind while writing this one, that I wanted a story with no human utterances that could have occurred inside a neglected snow globe on a dusty shelf.
The present for current events and past tense for flashbacks is something I’ve experimented with, too. I think the book Bird Box uses that trick. It’s pretty fun!
Bird Box sounds cool. I hadn't heard of it. I'll have to add it to the list.
What a good final line. Damn.
Thanks, Eric!
Normally, I am not a fan of horror, but this…..
…this wouldn’t let me stop reading! I felt that I could not leave this spot unless I finished the story. My eyes would not leave the words.
I don’t know how you did it, but you have created a thriller story that invoked a slight feeling of terror in me.
Thank you.
Wow, thank you so much, Aubs! What a wonderful compliment!
Just coming to this story now as I saw it in the Lunar Awards Horror entries and I’m so impressed. The unexpected turn it takes is so terrifyingly good. And those deathly faces below the ice. Wow. 🖤
Thank you so much Garen! It's always wonderful when someone finds an old work of mine like this and it resonates!
Excellent! That first time she saw the candle go out while by the lake was chilling!
Thanks Shawn!
Of course!
this is so gripping and terrifying! the atmosphere, the tension, the way you use language to create an ominous formality. I absolutely love this. thank you for sharing!
Thank you, EJ! I'm so glad it was effective!
Powerful images here, I love it. That mental picture toward the end of the story - what’s making the scratching - that’s going to stay with me in both a good and bad way lol
Awesome to hear! This story went through a number of iterations, but that was the first kind of sticking point in my imagination was that image.
This is so well written. The imagery of your writing really dragged me in and wouldn’t let go until the end. I love this sad and terrifying tale.
Thanks so much, Troy! I wrote this one a few years ago, and it was my first time wrestling with a radically subjective viewpoint in my writing, fun but challenging. So happy to hear it turned out, and very grateful for gracious readers like you!
Thank you Lyndsey! I wrote this one a few years ago, and I remember it being stylistically a stretch, so I’m glad it worked out!